“It takes two to make a thang go right. It takes two to make it outta sight!”

If you are from the “old school” like me, you know the lyrics to the song. Why am I quoting a song from Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock? I wanted to talk a little bit about exercising as a couple. Do you think this can help or hurt your fitness goals?

Play Together…Stay Together

I’m sure you heard this before, “couples that play together, stay together”? I have heard it many times and always wondered if it was true. I think it is true to a certain degree and I’ll explain my reasoning for saying it. It’s good for couples to spend time together but spending all their time together can be detrimental to the relationship. We all need our guy and girl’s night out to clear our heads and “shoot the breeze” with members of the same sex. It also gives you space and everyone needs it at one time or another, right? I have witnessed many couples who choose to exercise their “me” time when they go to the gym. You’re probably asking yourself, “what does he mean by that?” See if this sounds familiar: you enter the gym with your significant other and she/he goes to the treadmill section while you go to pump iron. You meet up when it’s time to leave. I see this all the time when I enter gyms and it’s very discouraging because you might be sabotaging your fitness goals! On a different note, if you don’t like your “sig” then you might be wise to separate when going to the gym just to keep the peace. So why don’t couples like to work out together?

Ego Trippin’

The couple who play together stay together!

I have heard male friends complain constantly about their girlfriend or wife and the gym. The guys complain the women don’t like lifting weights or they don’t know how to use the machines. From the perspective of a male, I can see these are valid points. There are hordes of women out there who still believe strength training makes them look bulky and muscular. A very small percentage of women who are genetic freaks build too much muscle when they lift, but as a whole this doesn’t happen. In addition, men have a distinct advantage in the weight machine category because we are a little bit more mechanically inclined than women. Guys look at the weight machine and it looks just like one whereas it may look like a contraption with gears and gizmos to women. I can see how women can get confused, can you? If you can’t, think about this. Most guys can’t cook and don’t know their way around the kitchen like a woman. This is exactly the way most women feel when they enter a gym for the first time and you don’t help them by “ego trippin”. I have seen some men load up the bar with heavy weights and then command their wife or girlfriend to “lift” and in that instant she is scarred for life. She never wants to lift weights again because the weight was too heavy for her and she failed on her first attempt. You have to start light before you can go heavy but the “ego trippin” boyfriend didn’t know this.

Toward a Common Goal

Its easy to achieve a goal if you have support and hard as hell if you don’t! If you want to eat right, but your wife wants you to buy cakes, cookies, and other junk food it defeats the purpose. I have read numerous articles on weight loss and the people who are successful are the ones who have a support system. It’s easy to reach your fitness goals if both of you are on the same page. This is why couples do great in weight loss transformation contests…both are moving toward the same goal.

Challenge Challenge

When I started working out with my girlfriend, it was a new experience with a new person. I had a bad experience in a past relationship working out as a couple and I didn’t want to repeat it. I quickly realized it had nothing to do with working out but it was the person I was working out with at the time. I no longer have the hesitation I had in the previous relationship because I really enjoy the person and that makes a big difference. If you work out with someone you really enjoy, it makes it easier and you can challenge each other to become better and more fit in the process. It also keeps you motivated as you are feeding off each other. If you have to spend time with the one you love, why not spend it getting fit and having fun ????

Darren McDuffie
Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

Have you ever experienced pain? I know that is a silly question, so I might need to be a bit more specific. Have you ever experienced any body pain? When I say body pain, I mean back and knee pain. Did you know back pain is the most common reason people miss work? Experts say 80% of the population will have a back problem at some time in their life.

How much you get for a slip and fall in a store?

If you have ever seen the movie Friday, you might remember a character called Ezal. In one of my favorite scenes, Ezal asks , “ how much you get for a slip and fall in a store?” The scene from the movie is funny, but what if this happens to someone for real? It can happen at anytime to anyone, but what about back pain which isn’t the result of an accident? Have you ever experienced that sort of pain? I have. I am approaching the ripe age of 40 this year and from time to time, I have what I like to call “old man pains”. These pains come out of nowhere and seem to leave as quick as they appear. I am glad they leave as fast as they come, but years ago I wasn’t so lucky.

What the hell is wrong with my back?

After my basketball career was over, I sat around and became a slob. I ate tons of food and exercise consisted of lifting the remote to change the tv channel. I was stilI an athlete in my mind, but my body was showing me something very different from my thoughts. I looked like hell from the excessive weight I picked up and my body started throwing me hints.    The hints consisted of back pain and knee pain which kept me in physical therapy for a couple of months. It took some time, but I finally realized my back and knee pain had a direct correlation to my weight gain. I immediately committed myself to dropping weight and soon after my back and knee pain vanished.

What is your ideal weight

I know what my ideal weight is now. How do I know? I can tell when I am gaining too much weight when I start feeling it in my weight bearing joints which are my back and knees. I make it a habit to consciously be aware of what I am eating and start to make adjustments. Are you having any back problems or knee problems which might be related to weight gain? I would like to hear about it. Please leave a comment on the blog!!! See you on the lean side… Darren

I happened to be reading a book the other day. The author said something quite interesting which I never gave much thought. He questioned the quantity of the food versus the quality. Have you noticed the quantity of food has gone up, while the quality of food has gone down? What does that mean? I don’t know if you have looked around lately but there are an abundance of places selling bad food. Oh yeah, I’ll be doing a review of this book I’m mentioning, so look out for it.

The idea of more is better

When I was kid, I would beg my grand mother to take me to McDonald’s. I would usually beg her on Friday because that was the only time she would take me. I would “hound” her countless times until she finally agreed. Once she agreed, we would pile into our big yellow car nicknamed the “yellow goose” and off we went to Mickey D’s. I can remember going through the drive thru and within minutes we had our food. In the words of my good friend Riley from the Boondocks, “it was the best thing ever,” or was it? As I think back, it may very well have been the worst thing to ever happen. Why do I say that? In the old school days the burgers were much smaller and there was no “supersize it”, go large, or buy one get one free. Did that make the food worse? The food was already bad for you but now you just have more of it. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see if you eat more you gain more weight, right? Is the idea of more really better?

From a boy to a man

Some of our food choices are dictated by the money in our pockets. Do you think that’s true? I certainly do. If I had ten bucks in my pocket in high school or college, I would more than likely be at the latest fast food joint getting the cheap stuff. I had done this countless times in my evolution from a boy to man, until I realized you have to pay for quality. Quality is the nutritional dense food your body needs to heal itself and get rid of disease. I never looked at food in this manner, until I became passionate about fitness. I always thought food was something I just threw into my mouth because my stomach was growling, and I needed to satiate it. I realize most people still think this way and this is why there is an obesity problem in America. There are far too many of us who think cheap food is better food. Is that solely based on the lint in our pockets?

Food observations

Do you realize you always get more cheap food? You can go to any fast food spot to prove it to yourself. If you have ever dined at an expensive restaurant, you know you don’t get a whole lot of food, but it tastes much better. You enjoy the food more, but you might get hungrier a bit sooner. Why? If you noticed, you get less food and its balanced with healthy things like salads! This seems to be a hard idea for our society to understand and many of us are paying for it with our health. What do you think?

I am sure you heard about the 80/20 rule, right? If you haven’t, I ‘ll lay it down to you from a sales standpoint because that is how I came to understand it. In case you’re wondering, I have been doing sales the better part of my life since graduating from college. Ok… here is what the 80/20 rules states: 80% of your revenue will come from about 20% of your prospects. I thought this was all a hoax, but in my years of sales it always holds true. Now…I mentioned that because I came across another rule the other day. I never gave this rule any thought, but upon reading more about it, it certainly holds true.

Welcome to the 3% rule!

I heard of the 3% rule some time ago, but it is just now hitting home with me.  I’ll tell you my experience with the “3”% and see if you can relate.  A long time ago, I bought one of those real estate courses from an informercial. It finally arrived in the mail and I was happy to get it because I thought this would make me a real estate millionaire! I had dreams of finally quitting my job, buying an expensive car, and “jetsetting” to a Caribbean Island. Sound familiar? “Yeah Mon,” I bet it does. I know I am not the only one who has had this dream, right? If I am, I’ll be very surprised. Anyway, after my daydreaming I jumped back into reality. I opened the course and began to read it. There was a ton of work involved before you made any money. The course expected you to negotiate with people and make deals to get the real estate with little or no money down. I thought to myself, “they made this look so easy on tv.” I didn’t know it was that much work involved to be successful with the course. I thought it had to be easy based on the testimonials and the number of people who succeeded with it. Was it believable or just a hoax?

What is 3%?

Do you know someone who’s an over achiever? You know what I am talking about, right. It is the person who graduated  at the top of their class or that nerd who spoiled the grade “curve” in your algebra class. Everybody had one of those people in their class. Some of you reading this might still be in school, and have someone in your class like this right now! Please don’t ridicule them because you can learn something from these folks. So what is 3% because I know you are wondering, right? It means 3% of the population will be successful with any endeavor they undertake. When you view weight loss informercials guess what you are looking at? You’re looking at the 3% who were able to complete the diet plan and now they have the results to show for it. When you buy various fitness dvds out there right now, they advertise the 3% who were able to complete the plan. They never advertise the guy/gal who buys it and uses it once or twice, then ends up quitting after a week.

How do you become the fitness 3%?

Here is how to become the 3% in fitness and in life:

• Be Committed— Too many people aren’t committed. At the first sign of adversity they are ready to quit. You need to jump in the pool and swim or get out of the pool. There is no halfway. You are either in or out.

• Beliefs–- Change your beliefs. Some people think it works for others but it won’t work for me. It will work for you but you first have to think it will.

• Be persistent— Results might be slow at first but keep on keeping on, and you’ll get there.

What has been your experience with the 3% rule? I would love to hear your comments.

Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

As a trainer, I have people coming to me constantly asking questions. What do I eat? How do I get this physique or that one? How did the latest celebrity get in such great shape for that role? The list goes on and on. If I am allowed to be completely honest right now, I get really tired of answering questions because the answers fall on deaf ears. What do I mean by that? I’ll elaborate.

The Answer and then what?

I can provide answers all day to fitness questions. I love to answer them, but why don’t people take action once their question is answered? It drives me crazy! I am under the impression most people are
‘in love” with the idea of being fit, but few want to be fit. I can tell people countless times, “eat this” to lose weight or concentrate on this amount of reps to build muscle, but many never do. Why is that? I’ll be the first to admit its hard to change and I think it is the deal breaker for some. Am I right? I think I’ll quit giving advice to people until they are ready for it.

How do you know when you are ready?

How do you when you are ready? I can tell you right now:

• Working out becomes priority

• Eating right becomes priority

• No more excuses

Here is the difference between the people you see on weight loss success stories and those you don’t: Successful people do the things failures don’t like to do.

Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

Are you cooking out or barbecue (ing)  today? They are both one and the same. Have a Happy Memorial Day!!!

Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

Ask yourself are you a MILF? Get your mind out of the gutter, until I tell you my definition of a MILF because it ain’t the version you might be thinkin’ of!

Man, “She must workout!”

I can count on one finger the number of women I see who have kids, and are in shape. I  definitely take notice when I do see a MILF. I saw one just the other day, and she had three little kids in tow like duffle bags with her. The first thing came to my mind was, “she must workout!” You can really tell when someone puts an effort into their body, because it shows in their appearance and personality. She definitely had a “glow” about her and I don’t think it was from her being pregnant again! On the flip side, you can also tell when someone doesn’t take care of their body. I have seen the same type of woman, on the same day who instead of 30 looks 50 and is carrying around a ton of extra luggage and it ain’t kids! So, what makes one different from the other?

When Do I do Me?

I grew up amongst all women since my father was never around. I think this has helped me see things differently from the average male. One thing I noticed as a teenager was my mom was great at taking care of me, but bad at taking care of herself. She was at all my basketball games, band rehearsals, and awards ceremonies but she never took time to “do her”. I have spoken to many women regarding fitness and they neglect themselves for their kids and don’t take any “me time” and it shows.You have to dedicate time to yourself because the neglection you feel on the inside starts showing on the outside. What does that mean? You might be surprised, but whatever you are going through on the “inside” usually manifests itself on the “outside”. The majority of the time gaining weight is more of an emotional issue, than it is a physical one. Women seem to have more emotional issues as a result of the pressure placed on them in society to “be this or be that”, men just don’t seem to care or if they do, they let it roll off their backs like water on a duck. So why all the Emotion?

Emotional Rollercoasters

I read somewhere where men are more in their “heads” and women are more in their “hearts”. I think this is why women seem to be more susceptible to emotional eating. I am not saying men can’t do this, but because women are more emotional than men here in lies my theory. I’ll back that up by saying I have spoken to countless women who eat when they are worried, frustrated or having problems in their relationship. They rely on food for comfort. I am a guy, so I can tell you men just grab a six pack and watch the game. We say,” the hell with it” and life goes on. I guess it could be a curse but then again women are much better at expressing their emotions than men. I am certain this is why we are considered the Yin and Yang. If both sexes were the same in how we saw things and reacted to them, it would be screwed up! It’s nice having differences, but women go through some things a man will never experience.

I’m Preeeegggnant!

If you are married and have a spouse, these are words you might “wanna hear”. If you are getting ready to give birth to a child, but gave birth to a deadbeat dead also, then you have my sympathy. I won’t pretend to know anything about pregnancy, but what I do know is it changes your body. That is a fact. You can get your body back if you are willing to put in the time and effort to do it. This is the key. Are you willing to put in the time and effort? Many women seem to give up and accept the bodily change which comes along with pregnancy and before you know it, it gets way out of hand. I believe the saying goes like this,“ its easy to eat pieces of an elephant than eat the whole thing at one time”. I ‘ll put this in layman’s terms meaning its easier to deal with something before it gets out of hand. I have seen women who let it get way out of hand and then they are discouraged by the obstacle set before them. Nip it in the bud quick before it gets crazy.

The MILF on my terms

There isn’t any woman who is genetically gifted over another woman. There isn’t any woman who has more hormones or less hormones than any other. The women who takes consistent action such as eating right, exercise, and understanding nutrition can always get her “pre baby body” back. How bad do you want it? You need to make up your mind and then go for it. So are you a MOTHER I’D LIKE TO BE FIT?

Coming Soon —– FOURWOMENONLY.INFO

I will address the issues women go through in their quest to get fit such as pregnancy, diets, and crazy myths that just ain’t true!

Darren McDuffie

Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

As a personal trainer, you realize its hard to keep people personally accountable for their own success. You also realize why most people fail not only in losing weight, but also in life. I attribute the failure to not having goals. I believe very strongly in having goals. Why? Goals hold you personally accountable for your success. Now, I used to be just like you, yes you who is reading this. I was never sold on the power of goals and thought it was all “bull shizzle” until two years ago. I thought writing stuff down was for nerds or those success obsessed people like Carlton Banks on the Fresh Prince. Yup, I said the Fresh Prince… I happened to have liked that show! I still watch it when the reruns come on.

Two years ago, I was far from where I wanted to be financially, socially, and professionally. I was looking for a change and it needed to come like yesterday. I began frantically searching for answers and even thought about giving in to one of those get quick rich schemes. You know the ones I am talking about, right? Have you seen those Acai Berry detox ads? Yup, I thought about selling those and it was the only “legal” way I thought I could make money. I could think of several other ways to earn quick cash, but I decided I didn’t want to spend my life being afraid to drop the soap in the shower. If you are a bit slow, that was a reference on going to prison. I am not built for jail and I know that about myself, so the quick cash was never an option. I remember hoping, wishing, and praying something would change and then it finally did. Have you ever heard the saying, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear?” That’s exactly what happened to me. I came across a small book and it told you how to get anything you want in life, as long as you aren’t manipulating anyone, to get it. It’s a simple formula. All you need to do is write your goal down and pick a definite date you want to have it. I did it and things started to change for the better.

The moral of this story is you need a goal. I see far too many people without a weight loss goal. How many pounds do you want to lose and by when? Goals are only achieved when you have a big enough “why” attached to it. Why do you really want to lose weight? Do you want to look better or feel better? What is your why? Once you figure out why you want to lose weight then write it down and hold yourself personally accountable. The “why” will keep you going and when it is strong enough will also help you succeed. If you don’t know where you are going, how do you know when you have arrived? This is the main reason people give up because they don’t have a concrete, measurable goal. See you on the lean side.

Darren McDuffie
Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

Have you ever seen the movie a “Few Good Men?”. In that movie there is a famous scene in which Jack Nicholson tells Tom Cruise’s character,“ You can’t handle the truth”!  Do you think you can handle the truth when it stares you in the face?

Before I start training my clients, I go through an assessment with them and part of it is taking pictures. I take the pictures for two reasons. I want them to use the pictures for motivation when they lose sight of why they are training and the second is for them to really see how they look to other people. Do you know how you look? You might say,”yeah I do” but I can tell you, you really don’t. Many of us never come to grips that we are really overweight until we are able to see it through the eyes of others.

Once I am done with the client’s assessment, I put a package together and part of the package includes the clients pictures. I take pictures from the front, side, and back. I want to show all the angles, so they can get a good view of how they look. Before I start the first session with them, I go over the packet and more often times than not, the first thing they want to do is look at the pictures. “Do I really look like that?”, they ask. Then they say, “ I look disgusting”. I like to call this, the moment of truth. It is the first time they are looking through the eyes of others and are really seeing what people see everyday. I also think it is the first time they come to realize I need help and can’t do this alone. Can you handle your truth when its staring right at you?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend who wanted me to talk to his mother about losing weight. He’s a bit concerned about his mother’s health and thought it might do some good for me to talk to her. I didn’t refuse to talk to her, but I told him it probably wouldn’t help because she’s not ready for her truth. Its easy to walk around in denial whether than face the truth head on and realize you have to make a change. The truth forces you to take a good hard look at yourself, but its always easier and more comfortable to lie. Lying takes no effort, but the truth requires accountability and change. Human beings are resistant to change and accustomed to habit. It is in change where you find your truth unless you are willing to keep living the lie. Until next time, see you on the lean side. Enjoy the clip below!!!

Darren McDuffie
Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

Here’s a thought. Do you really need a gym to get into shape? Think about it for a moment. Let it really sink in before you answer. I’ll answer it for you and here it is, “no”, you don’t really need a gym to get into shape. If you were like me a few years ago, I always thought I needed a gym to get into shape. I remember going onto Mapquest getting directions to gyms in towns and cities I was unfamiliar with, just to satisfy my urge to stay fit. If you don’t know what MapQuest is, its a website dedicated to giving you turn by turn directions to your destination. I can tell you Mapquest can be a good thing sometimes and other times it can be totally off the mark. I use to always think Mapquest was “spot on” until I ended up in someone’s “hood” in the middle of a known drug spot! Its an eye opener when people you don’t know swarm your car thinking you are looking to buy drugs. I am an intimidating figure at 6’7 and 200 something odd pounds, but the people who swarmed my car made me look as gentle as a lamb. After that experience, I knew it had to be a better way to get my workout “fix”.

If you had an experience like mine, you quickly come up with alternatives. One of those alternatives I found was bodyweight exercises. What are these? It’s just like the name sounds, you are using your bodyweight to create resistance and burn fat. I am sure you remember those push ups you did in your high school gym class, right? Well, push ups are one of the best exercises you can do for your chest and arms to build muscle. If you want to get a full body workout, trying adding some bodyweight squats and lunges into your routine. There are host of different exercises you can do with your bodyweight. See…you can get great results at home without the gym and it can be done right in your hotel room with no equipment.

I am still convinced some of you think you still need a gym to work out and that is ok… to each his own. I realize some people go to the gym to get fit and feel better, but some just go to socialize. I have had my choice words with the “socializers” when I was a member of the gym. It was these people who made a 30-45 minute workout turn into a hour and 30 minute workout by sitting on the machines talking when others are wanting to use them. I hated that! Oh… and while I am on my little soapbox talking about the “socializers”, how about the cell phone junkie? The cell phone junkie is the person who walks on the treadmill right beside you and for 30 minutes they talk on their phone for the whole damn 30 minutes about anything and everything. When I say everything, I do mean everything and nothing is left sacred during their conversation. I don’t miss those days at all. I feel much better and am getting better results working out at home. If you’re tired of the socializers, the cell phone junkie, or the high cost of gym memberships make the transition to “home fitness”. I can tell you it works! If you are working out at home now, I wanna here from you. See you on the lean side.

PS– Have you registered for the “Kick Start the Summer” Giveaway? You can win a free pair of Puma workout shoes! Click on the pic for the contest rules.

Kick Start the Summer Giveaway

Darren McDuffie
Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist